Hello .. I'd like to share this amazing experience in my life going on right now..
I just had a bad bad break up
with my 5 years boyfriend that I was supposed to marry and all I could think
about was “now why I’m going to do?” I will always be alone, no one will like
me, all my friends are getting married all the people I know … some are
terrible girls and they are so lucky they’re engaged, what am I going to say to
my friends? how will I explain to people what just happened? Oh my god I have
to look strong and always be happy but then people will think that is just a
mask…. Oh my god!!!
I’m so
disappointed of myself right now … I was so intense about the idea of getting married
because everyone was doing it and then I knew that I was doing things for
people not for me… I forgot of myself completely for the last 5 years… not
saying my relationship was bad or that he was bad … I guess that I opened my
eyes I always knew he was not for me because I was turning in to something that
I wasn’t trying to please society and him …
I was
starting to criticize single women like a crazy person … talk about others
girls clothes, jobs, boyfriends … I’m not proud of myself at all I hate
everything about that time. What I’m saying is that life and god gave me a
lesson and no matter how it happened but I always knew it has to happened I was
just too scared to do it… my boyfriend left me in the worst possible ways twice
because after that I gave him a second chance …guess what? He did it again, I was
so broken, I had really difficult times but now I’m like the happiest girl in
the world … and here’s what I learned in this horrible/amazing journey …
1. We always know when something is wrong and when we
should stop doing something but it is really hard to make that decision when it
makes you feel safe and stable even when you know it will not end well …
because things will end bad and if you don’t end it other person or life itself
will end It and it will hurt a hundred times more …
2. God close doors and you should not open it ... he knows
why ... you don’t
3. Live your life for you, do what makes you happy not
what people expect you to do or what everybody does we are all different and
each one will run their own race.
4. Stop judging people it makes me so sick … and I’m
trying to forget and learn of the time I used to be total butch about
everything …
5. Get rid of what is not helping you to be a better
person, get rid of people that don’t appreciate the amazing person you are, the
people that takes advantage of you even if after that you have just 2 o 3
friends left that will make your life happier I promise you!!
We are more
than we know all things that has to happen will do run your own race be proud
of who you are, beautiful things are coming God is not done with you yet.. I
hope it helps even to one person, we don’t know each other but I’ve been through
a lot lately that writing it has helped me so much.
Have a happy
life it is so magical I still believe so much in love more than ever, thank
you!!
With love…
Sarah J
